A job offer of sorts...

A job offer of sorts

I was speaking to Dan online, when my phone rang. Since I finished at Uni, my phone has been largely unloved, so when it was a bit of a surprise to me when it rung. It was Richard Horner, my cricket coach from Leeds. Rich is a good coach and a brilliant man; selfless, generous and kind-hearted. The only problem being that he is getting old, perhaps too old to be a serious coach anymore. He hasn’t totally lost his marbles or anything, but he doesn’t talk as much sense as he used to. He told me how he’d been injured through the back end of the season, after a young bowler, ironically someone who he had been coaching, bowled a ball that hit him straight in the chest, causing him to suffer two broken ribs. Of course he had already told me this story twice already during the summer, but I let that pass, and tried not to laugh as he recounted the anecdote.
He was ringing to tell me about a job advert which he had been sent, which he thought I might be interested in, I told you he was kind-hearted. He has been sent a letter from a cricket club near me, asking if he knew of any young cricketer who would be interested in becoming the ‘club professional’. This role would include playing, coaching and overseeing much of the junior cricket played at the club. The letter was probably about 500 words long, and I listened patiently (for about ten minutes!) as he proceeded to read the whole thing across the phone to me. Nonetheless, this sounded like a good opportunity, and one that I would be well paid for, especially as the post included the chance to teach at various local schools. This being said, I have always had a strong allegiance to Sunbury, my home club, and I would be reluctant to leave. Rich suggested that he would reply to them via e-mail to encourage them to get in contact with me, then at least I could chat things over with them.
Moreover I could possibly use this ‘offer’ as a bargaining tool to earn some money playing for Sunbury, but I’m probably getting carried away, lets be honest the Eve Surrey Championship is hardly the Premiership, we still have female umpires for crying out loud. I know, that was a cheap shot, sorry ladies. If nothing else, this offer confirmed my assertion that I could get a job just by playing on my Xbox and waiting for my phone to ring.
My thus far ill-fated search for a job has led me to become increasingly obsessed with checking my e-mails. I don’t even know what I’m expecting, maybe to receive an e mail saying
“We’ve seen your CV, it looks brilliant, we really want to hire someone with not much experience in industry but who describes themselves as a ‘computer games expert’. We don’t even need to phone or interview you, see you on Monday”.
I know you may think that scenario unlikely, but I am still holding out hope. More likely I might receive an email from the ‘University of Phoenix’ or ‘This is Money’. However many times you delete these kinds of junk mails, they always keep coming back; like a terrible boy band they just will not go away, coming back again and again even though each time there material gets worse. Although on the plus side, I rarely receive penis enlargement e-mails, probably because I’ve got a massive wang. So I find myself checking my emails at least six or seven times a day. Rarely do I receive anything of any use or any value. Facebook now use email to notify you of any wall posts you might have received, or any groups that you have been invited to. This makes my email checking habit all the more frustrating. I will almost celebrate on the spot when I see that I have two new mails, only to be disappointed that I have been invited to the group ‘John’s lost his phone…again, he needs your numbers’, twice. I am embarrassed to say that I am, although increasingly less so, slightly addicted to Facebook. Perhaps it is the harmless yet provocative ‘poking’ application, or maybe it is the opportunity to waste a significant amount of time, but I find myself logging in far too often. Listen to myself; I really need to get a job. I’m sure nobody else is as excited by emails and Facebook as I am. The phrase ‘get a life’ has never been more appropriate. So on that note, I’m off to play golf. Right after I’ve checked my emails.