jobless

11th october


It has gotten to the point where I have all but given up on getting a job. I seem to have convinced myself that sports journalism is not for me. I even got a text earlier asking me if I was available to cover a game on Saturday, don’t they know that I’ve got a big fixture of my own. Home to Old Lyonians II’s may not sound like a glamour tie, but let me assure you, it could be huge. Following that, frankly massive fixture, England are on TV, football that is, an appetiser before a main course of rugby later on in the evening. And as if the day of sport needed an aperitif, the ‘sports rave’ in Shoreditch looms large and will run late into the night. In all honesty I enjoy writing about sport, but while I am still active and energetic enough to take part in it, that is what I would rather do. Thus my ambition of becoming a sports-writer is somewhat flawed, but for the moment I am content, proud to be pulling on the jersey for the Old Sutts 3rd XI on a Saturday afternoon in the winter months, before donning the whites for my beloved Sunbury Cricket Club throughout an inevitably rain affected summer.
I have been applying for various jobs for getting on for a month now, to the extent where it is getting depressing. Am I that unemployable? Do potential employees take one look at my CV before sliding it to the bottom of the pile, or worse still throwing it, crumpled and discarded, into the bin? I hold that image in my mind, imaging these suited types laughing at my CV; chuckling at my stint as Headboy of my junior school or joking about my 2 years as a ‘food and beverage assistant’ at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships. What do they know? Anyway the joke’s on them, I’ve still got my ‘headboy’ badge. But my lack of job is clearly not a laughing matter. Although I don’t have many expenses; I still live at home, with my parents, rent-free, I don’t have a car, although I do pay insurance on my Mum’s ‘motor’, and I am lucky enough to have a full fridge of food at my disposal, I have virtually no income. Moreover, I do enjoy the odd night out, and clubbing is becoming increasingly expensive; student nights in Leeds are far cheaper than London on the weekend. Thus my bank balance is steadily decreasing. For the past weekend I’ve been living in the dreamland that dictated that online poker would provide me with a steady income. But that dream has been cruelly snatched away from me. I have had no sudden epiphany, but it has come to light that I am more inclined to lose than win, not a great statistic for any sportsman, but particularly bad for a poker player. So for the odd night of success, that I am more than likely to document and brag about, there are many more nights (and days) which are not so fruitful, i.e. you lose money. So that is a career in poker down the drain. What a waste I hear you sigh, I know, I agree.
I have done the odd bit of work for Tim’s mum. Now that is nowhere near as seedy or inappropriate as it sounds. I have known Tim for years, and he is one of my best friends, but more on that later. I have also known his mum for a while (again, nothing dodgy) and she runs her own market-research company. She calls on me from time-to-time to work for her as a host. Quite literally hosting an afternoon of research, greeting the clients, offering them tea, coffee, a foot massage, or whatever it is they may need, before showing them to the interview room. All fairly easy really, and to be honest something that I would like to do more often. But this work is infrequent and ad hoc, and can hardly be classed as a regular source of income.
It is not as though I am not trying to get a job. Well maybe there is part of me that enjoys spending the day at home, getting up late, and spending an inordinate amount of time on my Xbox 360 and my laptop. Of course there is. But, there is another part of me that is greatly unfulfilled by this life of relative luxury. No, seriously. I would love nothing more to be in a job, meeting new people, learning new skills and having a routine, a structure to my week. Then I could justify living for the weekend. As it is the days drag by and weeks feel like an eternity. Paradoxically I feel like time is passing me by. It is suddenly October and I have done nothing of note since I handed my dissertation in at the start of September, over a month ago. It is no wonder I don’t have a greatest achievement, unless you class winning the World Cup with Wales on Pro Evo 6 on the Xbox an achievement (it is quite hard and Wales are not that good a team, so I was quite proud).
So what now? I ask myself. My honest answer is that I don’t know, not right now anyway. I suppose I am still holding out hope that one day soon, my phone will ring or I will receive an e-mail begging me to start work immediately. That, as my dad continues to remind me, will not happen. Thus I will keep filling out the application forms, visiting the websites, chasing up leads, in the hope that I may find my calling, I’ll let you know how it goes.